I was diagnosed with APS in 2004 after suffering a heart-attack.  My son was only 9 months old and perfectly healthy (apart from being born prematurely).  By 2004 I had already had two Pulmonary embolisms which almost cost me my life.  I was referred to a Physician at Eugene Marais Hospital in Pretoria and even though he is a very grumpy and unfriendly person, he is a master on the field of APS. He started me on a cocktail of Warfarin, Plavix and Clexane and literally saved my life.  I was medically forced to have an abortion as the danger of pregnancy was just too great. In 2009 I had to have an emergency full hysterectomy after a 4.5 Kg tumour on my ovary ruptured and was causing severe bleeding.

I read all these positive letters posted on the website, and I am wondering.... Am I the only person who struggles to cope with this disease? By writing this letter I am hoping that maybe, just maybe there is someone else out there who feels the same way.

I am always tired, even after an 8-hour night.  I go to bed tired and I awake tired. My GP attributes this to very low Iron levels, but how can I have normal Iron levels when I have not taken in any Iron for 7 years. I drink up to 20mg of Warfarin a day and therefore I am required to follow a low-protein diet (no red meats, no green veggies etc). I cannot take any vitamin supplements, not even Cal-C-Vita.

I have severe joint pains and muscle spasms.  Some days my feet are so swollen that I struggle to walk on them.  I suffer from IBS and get a UTI at least once a month. I have severe head-aches and have constant heartburn and stomach cramps.

Everybody says, get some exercise and you will feel better and it will also help to lose those extra kilo’s.  This is not an option for me as I am simply too bloody tired. 

My friend told me the other day that I sound like an old lady with all my aches and pains and every week it is something different. What a friend hey?

So, what I really want to know is: How do other people with APS cope? How do they manage to get up in the morning, smile and be grateful that they are alive? How do they live through the constant fatigue and pain?

Some days I just want to roll up on a ball in the corner and stay there........